Last week I went to a conference called Catalyst. It’s a Christian Leadership group and we heard from people doing amazing things to bring the kingdom of God to earth. Let me back track before getting into the conference.
I saw a post from my friend Paul about this conference with the speaker line up. As I stared at my computer screen at the people who would be at this conference, my heart began to beat faster. I felt as though my heart was going to come out of my chest. Was I supposed to go to this? I messaged my friend Paul and he was very encouraging and told me I should go. He had been the past 4 years and never regretted going. I then called my mom who shared with me, when she saw the speaker line up she immediately thought, “Nikki needs to go to this.” She told me to pray about it. As soon as I hung up with mom I started talking with God and within 5 minutes I had my answer. God said, “Nikki, you know what you need to do. You need to go and I will take care of all the details.” I called my mom back and told her I was going.
I got nervous and had no idea how I was going to pay for everything! This was not in my budget. However, I wanted to be obedient to God’s call so I purchased my conference ticket and began looking into flights to Atlanta, Georgia.
A week later I was on the phone with my business partner Bruce for M2B Ministries and he told me he wanted to invest in me as a person and a leader and Catalyst was the perfect conference to attend. He then told me M2B would pay for all my expenses and I could stay with him and his wife at their home in Atlanta. GOD WILL PROVIDE!!! I was speechless. And in awe of God and his provision. He told me he would take care of the details and he was down to the rental car which I was able to get with credit card points.
I knew God wanted me there. I was expectant. I was expectant for God to show up. I thought maybe I would meet someone that would change my business, my life! I mean come on, Tim Tebow was one of the speakers. Maybe I was going to meet him! ; )
When I arrived at the conference I was expectant but really didn't know what to expect. We started the conference with worship and during worship God spoke to me. He said, “It’s me! I am the one meeting you here.” God is all I need. I was consumed with the thought of meeting a certain human, when I was sent there to meet God. And He was there!
I am at a point in my life where I am going through a ton of healing! I realized I have not been living my life to the fullest and I have not been living in freedom and I want to be! I want to live life to my fullest. I stared going to counseling about 2 months ago and things of my past that I have never dealt with began to surface. I say it’s hard and good all at the same time. It’s hard because things surface that I have been stuffing down trying to avoid, but you can only do that for so long until it all boils up and explodes! It’s good because you are getting rid of the pain and hurt to become free. And that is what I want. And this is exactly what was spoken at the conference by multiple speakers.
Christine Caine talked about being healed from the inside out and we may not be in the place in our businesses and life because of the healing that needs to take place. She talked about going to therapy herself because of triggers of her past still coming up. And how therapy has helped her. Another speaker, Carlos Whittaker, told us to stop killing the cobwebs and to find the spider and kill it. If we don't find the root of a problem, those cobwebs will keep coming back. If you don't know your spider, therapy helps you become aware of your spider and corner it. But Jesus is the only on who can kill it. AMEN!! This really spoke to me because this is the exact season I am in. And God knew I needed to hear those messages.
About 6 months ago I had a vision of myself speaking on stage of hundreds of people, but I looked different than I do now. I was confident, fit, healthy, strong and radiating. I was free! And I want to be that girl. I know I am on a journey to become that girl. It takes time, but I know I will get there. I keep picturing that girl standing on stage and this vision keeps me going. God continues to remind me He is with me. He tells me this everyday. And I know it’s because I need this constant reminder that even in the storm, God is with me.